IF you had a working main battery (and you don't), turning the key in the rear bumper also activates the hydraulic pump and lifts the trunk deck for you.
But you don't.
The 'turn the key in the rear bumper' is also a mechanical release of the latch holding the trunk lid securely closed. So, with two people, while you turn the key, lift the trunk lid. You have to lift it slowly, against the hydraulics, it can be done. Do not force it.
Once the trunk lid is open far enough, use the mechanical release to open the driver's door. The release is on the left.
And next time, put something over the hood latch so you can't make this mistake again!
I belive it is possible (never done this), to provide power via the main cooling fan, if you can get underneath. Don't know if somebody else can confirm or deny this.
My additional 2c: I keep a link to the battery accessible by the passenger side wipers. Wouldn't help here as you have disconnected the battery. I also have a rule that I open a door before I disconnect the battery. I put the carpet in the door jamb, so the door cannot be shut. (And almost always, I have the roof down.) None of this is any help to you right now though. I feel your pain.