Welcome to the Cadillac XLR Forums!
  • The Cadillac XLR Net is now on instagram! Follow Us!

Dear employees:

mtrocket

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
3,648
Location
Billings, Montana
My XLR/V(s)
2007 Red Jewel XLR
Dear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SH** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SH** it gives to the employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH**, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SH** you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Management
 

Cadillac XLR Forums

Not a member?  Join now!  It's Free!

Learn more about Supporting Membership

Win a Cadillac CTS-V!

Cadillac CTS-V Dream Giveaway

Supporting Vendors

East Coast Used XLR Parts

Top Hydraulics

Cadillac XLR Registry

Click here to enter the official Cadillac XLR and XLR-V Registry
Top Bottom