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Ponderisms

mtrocket

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
3,648
Location
Billings, Montana
My XLR/V(s)
2007 Red Jewel XLR
• I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

• There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

• Life is sexually transmitted.

• Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

• All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal...

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

 • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
 

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