The New Alphabet

[mtrocket]

A is for apple, and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float.
Age before beauty is what we once said
But let's be a bit more realistic instead. ​

​

NOW​

A is for arthritis;

B is the bad back,

C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac.

D is for dental decay and decline;

E is for eyesight, can't read that top line.
​

F is for fissures and fluid retention,

G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure -- I'd rather it be low;

I for incisions with scars you can show.
​

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend.

K is for knees that crack when they bend

L for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?
​

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow !

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,

Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.
​

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S for sleepless nights, counting my fears.

T for tinnitus; there's bell's in my ears.
​

U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;

V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know.

W is for worry, NOW what's going round?

X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
​

Y is another year I'm left here behind,

Z is for zest that I still have -- in my mind.
​

​

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,

And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!!​

​

May your troubles be less, your blessings more

and nothing but happiness come through your door.​

 

[Little Woman]

Good one Mt. Some are true.

 

[Luparello]

I love this one except for the fact that many of the new alphabet things apply to me.
Diane

 

[Lola's Mom]

Haha, Di ... you sound like me!

Are you even considering coming out for the Rendezvous in May??? You sound like you fit right in! You could meet up with either the Midwest group or the Fl group and have the best time ever .... you cannot believe how cool it is to see all of the XLR's in one place!

 

[First Robin]

Good one Mt. Some are true.

They are going to have to expand the alphabet to fit in all of mine, but as long as I can get behind the wheel of the XLR I still think I am only 17. First Robin

 

[mtrocket]

They are going to have to expand the alphabet to fit in all of mine, but as long as I can get behind the wheel of the XLR I still think I am only 17. First Robin

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!!!!

 

[Luparello]

Hi RA,
We would love to come the the SA rally, but both my hubby and I still work and I think SA would be a LONG trip for us. We are tentatively thinking we'll try to make the Biltmore (Asheville NC) trip in the spring if it's not on a weekend when we are going racing. I'd love to meet other XLR folks - it seems like a great group.
Diane