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The Purina Diet

mtrocket

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
3,648
Location
Billings, Montana
My XLR/V(s)
2007 Red Jewel XLR
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.​
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.​
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.​
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.​
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.​
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.​
 

Little Woman

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
2,588
Location
Bourbonnais, IL
My XLR/V(s)
Cubby's, RIII Attendee, Midwest Marauder Alcohol Czar
:laugh::laugh::laugh:Where do you get these?
 

MissySupaBling

Seasoned Member
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
500
Location
Martinsville, Indiana
My XLR/V(s)
2004 xenon Blue XLR (Hubbies toy)
That's the best one I've heard! I feel like that sometimes when you get asked such Stupid things! Thanks for the laugh!:chuckle:chuckle
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.​


What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.


I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.


Costco won't let me shop there anymore.​


Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.​
 

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