Bad day at Hallmark

[mtrocket]

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?


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My tire
was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!​

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Heard
your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.​

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Looking
back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'​

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Congratulations
on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.​

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How
could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?​

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I've
always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.​

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I must
admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.​

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As the
days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.​

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Congratulations
on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.​

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Happy
Birthday, Uncle Dad !

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West
Virginia )​

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Happy
birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!​

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When we
were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.​

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We have
been friends for a very long time .

let's say we stop?​

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++​

I'm so
miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.​

=====================================================​

Congratulations
on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?​

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Your
friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.​

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))​

So your
daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay​