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Funny stuff

Cadillac Tech

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 16, 2008
Messages
3,843
Location
Cicero,Indiana
1. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station.....
And that's how the fight started....


2. I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95 I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's how the fight started.


3. After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Medicare. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Medicare application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'.
And that's how the fight started.....


4. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?'
And that's how the fight started.....


5. I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked
down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's how the fight started.....


6. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took My order first. ʽIʼll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight started.....
 

Little Woman

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
2,588
Location
Bourbonnais, IL
My XLR/V(s)
Cubby's, RIII Attendee, Midwest Marauder Alcohol Czar
Funny Bruce:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

Little Woman

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
2,588
Location
Bourbonnais, IL
My XLR/V(s)
Cubby's, RIII Attendee, Midwest Marauder Alcohol Czar
A few of them remind me of you and Cubby.

Bruce
I was thinking the same thing. If you run out of jokes you can post some of the stories you told the other night. Those were funny. :laugh::laugh:
 

cubby558

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
2,752
Location
IL
My XLR/V(s)
'16 Z06, "06 XLR-V Infra Red-Sold, RII, RIII & RIV survivor, Mdwst Maurader
A few of them remind me of you and Cubby...#2 and #4.

Bruce


I guess we told one another too many stories in Madison, IN on Saturday night......after too many :drink::drink::drink::drink::drink:



Have you started writing the book yet?:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

Cadillac Tech

Seasoned Member
Joined
Oct 16, 2008
Messages
3,843
Location
Cicero,Indiana
No, I haven't started on the book. Right now it's cheaper to tell the stories than to go to therapy...which I think my whole family needs.:lol:

Bruce :D
 

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