Guide for life...

[mtrocket]

The Hormone Guide​

Women will understand this, men should memorize it.
Every woman knows there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands!

This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license - in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, coworker, or significant other!​

DANGEROUS ​

What's for dinner?
SAFER
Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST
Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE
Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS
Are you wearing that?
SAFER
You sure look good in brown!
SAFEST
WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE
Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS
What are you so worked up about?
SAFER
Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST
Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE
Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS
Should you be eating that?
SAFER
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE
Here, have some wine.

​

DANGEROUS
What did you DO all day?
SAFER
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST
I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE
Here, have some wine.​

13 Things PMS Stands For:​

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make Me Sick

6. Provide Me Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. ****y Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect


Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh...
and men who need a warning.
​

Oh
and, have some wine.​